untitled

Do You know how much I love You?
Do You know how grateful I am?
Do You know how I long to please You?
Do You know how much I hate myself when I fail?
Do You know how thankful I am for what You have done
for my family,
for my sons,
for me?

Do You know how scared I am
of You?
of the future?
of my deepest,darkest fear?
Do You know?
Do You care?

Why sometimes
do I struggle
and scream?
Why am I
so angry?
Why am I
so bitter?
Why am I
so empty?
Why am I
so terrified
that I can not
sleep,
can not leave,
can barely
breathe?