Everyone thinks of changing the world,

but no one thinks of changing himself.
~Tolstoy


A couple of things changed around here this weekend. Nothing big, nothing earthmoving, nothing profound. Maybe, profound, but certainly not to anyone else but me.

1. I talked to and hugged my sister-in-law, for the first time in almost 3 years.

2. I went to church with my husband, again, for the first time in more than a few months.

I'm trying really hard to ignore some of the parts of the sermon (and it was a REALLY good sermon. The pastor who gave it is 35, was diagnosed with cancer back in March, two months before his son was born, is going through chemo.) It was simple, it was humble and it was honest. Its going to be a losing battle for me to ignore the message I got from it. I know it. Those who know me, know it. God knows it. Whats that line from a Rich Mullins song?
"I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want, than take what You give that I need?"
Or something like that. I'll have to go look it up.

One of the lines that just really rang true within me, ever get one of those? someone will say something or you'll read something and it's almost like someone struck a big bell inside ones-self? Like when a big church bell rings and theres the initial big CLANGGGGGGG and then the resonance afterwards? Like that. But on the inside? Of yourself? Am I making any sense to anyone at all other than me?

Prolly not, but thats ok!
:)

I had more than a couple moments like that today. I wish I could say my reaction was "Oh Joy!"
It wasn't.
It was more like
"oh shit"
but in a good way (HA! Is that even possible? Somehow, in my world, it is.)

I got several very nice hugs from people I've not seen in months. The best one being hugged,and hugged and hugged and not being let go until her mom pried us apart from one very sweet 11 year old girl. I missed her. I'd not even realized how much I'd missed her (and her mom.) Her mom is sweet too. After smothering both of their faces with kisses (good thing I'm not a dog! LOL!) we promised to get together this summer. I took my little friend shopping last summer and then out for pizza together. I'm hoping we can do something like that again this summer too. Didn't realize that a (then) 10 year old little gal can belch like a very large man after she drank way too much root beer and eating more pizza than you can imagine. Loudly........ in the middle of CiCi's...... as we were walking out. Nobody believed me when I said "She isn't mine........ No, REALLY, she's not mine!" :\

LOL!!!

I'm going to write a line from the sermon down here so I can remember it and I am paraphrasing and it won't make alot of sense unless you heard the sermon.

"You are (or will be) much better off healed than you ever would have been well."